Tuesday, December 14, 2004

after i left

i never told you what happened after i left, did i?i knew i was never gonna see you again. it really didn't matter, anyway.i didn't know what i was feeling. was i supposed to be sad? was i supposed to be happy?the only feeling i had was uncertainty.
it had been raining. i could still feelthe moisture in the air, but the clouds were gone.i'm feeling miserable...remind me again...what the hell happened?
i saw a man approaching me and asked for the time.i didn't have a watch so i told him i didn't know. maybe he was feeling the way i was.i wanted to ask him what he felt. i wanted to ask him if we could talk. baliw haha. but i just continued walking without another word.i watched people as they pass by, mothing was interesting or unique about them.
when i reached home, i put on my cd player, "HURT" by 9inch nails was playing. i wondered if it were appropriate for the mood i was in. no, it didn't fit. i wasn't that upset. you we're gone and i had to move on, or else i would be caught up in another deppresion. you weren't worth being that sad. you didn't affect me that much.i smiled at the thought. my mom always said that i was too easily influenced and i didn;t have a mind of my own. i proved her wrong this time.it made me happy to prove my mom wrong.
i didn't cry when i left, knowing i'd never see you again.i will never cry for you...again.

yowch

margret at Tuesday, December 14, 2004

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