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Sunday, April 06, 2003 At last, I have something to bitch about (didn’t say that I’m raving that I have something to rant about finally!) anyway.… now I believe in the saying that after a a day of pure bliss, expect in the following day that something terrible will happen. Well, it did, for me. And im now in a situation so depressing that it makes me want to stop seeing my friends for a while. One of the very hard-hitting decisions that I made in my life. Can’t tell you exactly the whole story but one thing I learned from it was that if you let someone be part of your life, you automatically give that person the right to hurt you. But I didn’t expect that it would hurt this much. I was talking to a friend of mine awhile ago whom I have some personal issues with, was confirming something from him and as we talked, I didn’t notice that tears were already falling from my eyes. Let me tell you this, im a person who really treasures everything that is significant to me. And knowing that I might lose one of these treasures….it just makes me fall apart. I’ll fill you in on some details. Well the reason why I’m so downhearted is because, some very “close” friends of mine said something (well not in my face…. those backstabbing bastards…@#$ %^&*) really appalling. They said that my girlfriends and I are just using them and after we settled our problems with the other group, we just left them, went with the other group and casted them off already…how sick was that? When I heard about that from my friend, I got scared. So… after being in each other's pocket for 2 years, this was what they really felt towards us? Uggh! The thought just makes me shrink. I got scared because I can’t stop thinking that maybe they were just pretending to be our friends but deep inside they really despise us. I began thinking what made them say that…it pains like hell because I treated them as my brothers. I love them dearly. Honest. it hurts me more because I want to talk to someone but there’s no one available. I want someone’s shoulder to cry on. I want someone to tell me that this will pass, maybe not now but it will definitely be over soon. I'm in so much grief right now. Dunno how to describe it. It’s so sad because I can’t do anything about it. And I’m not sure if things will ever be the same again. It’s so sad also because I anticipated that since they already graduated…they would act/think as full-grown individuals…I was wrong. I could only sigh just thinking…why did it have to happen just now? margret at Sunday, April 06, 2003
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